My family was recently given a gift that is pretty amazing, but admittedly I may have balked at the packaging. Okay, fine "balked" may be too soft of a word, let's just say it took a lot of tears, hugs and cookies (sooo many cookies) for me to open it an really look inside.
Before I get into the details of this particular present I want to distinguish something; I'm sharing this with you because I want to share it and I hope it will maybe someway somehow help you reconcile whatever is going on in your world with your faith as I have mine. Friends, I want to make this very important distinction because if I'm not in someway helping other people than all I'm doing is whining into a megaphone and nobody likes a whiner. Trust me, I have four.
Friends, our world got shaken up a bit recently with some unforeseen findings in a MRI for our Baby B; Baby B, our Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) recipient has been a fighter since she was born just shy of 26 weeks gestation weighing 2 lbs 3 oz. She survived NEC, several surgeries and several infections. She permanently lost almost 100% of her hearing in both ears. Our plan was for Baby B to get cochlear implants in both of her ears so she could be an oral communicator like her siblings. Life doesn't always go as planned though.
A few months ago I wrote about one of our twins surviving a stroke (spoiler alert, that was Baby A). Baby A is absolutely amazing; she's such a little love bug who smiles at everyone (well everyone except her Physical Therapists) and loves to hold her sister's hand. She is 100% perfect, but the stroke did leave her with some challenges, particularly with the left side of her body.
The thing about being a parent is that you never want your kids to experience any discomfort or suffering,;you want them to be happy and comfortable until they die at a ripe old age and join you in heaven where the happily ever after will be continued for eternity. That is what I wanted for Baby A. I wanted to take away all of the struggles she would inevitably face in our broken world, but I couldn't, I can't, and so I worried.
I worried that she would feel inferior for not being able to keep up with her siblings. Or her classmates. Or the fast pace of the world around us. Her sister's hearing loss I could fix with implants and specialized schooling, but how could I fix the fact that my precious little baby had a stroke? I didn't want her to feel isolated or alone, but I kept it close to my heart because if I brought it to the surface then I would be the one isolating and stigmatizing her and that was the opposite of what I wanted.
Enter the gift. Friends, as it turns out, our Baby B also survived a stroke - just like her twin sister. Based on the scans of her brain she will likely experience seizures at some point in her life - just like her twin sister. And she will likely have some degree of cerebral palsy - just like her twin sister. But then again maybe they won't. We don't know God's plan. They have beat the odds every step of the way so far and they have done it together. These girls...they are MIRACLES.
Like I said though, I balked at this gift. It took me a while to look past what this news means for me (you may understand now why I gorged on desserts) and look at what this news means for THEM. They are not alone in this!!! They never have to feel isolated or alone. They have someone - their sister, their BFF - who knows exactly what struggles they are facing. They will know (please God, I'm counting on this!) how to comfort one another and how to celebrate the big victories with one another because they will KNOW exactly what it took to do what everyone else around them has taken for granted. They will know because He knows; He knows exactly what they need.
No, they probably won't live a life free of suffering. No, I can't fix that, but honestly if I could I wouldn't because there is no growth in easy. There is no glory in comfortable. But there can be grace in suffering. Suffering, when wrapped in love, is how transformation happens. Suffering, when wrapped in love and received with grace, is one of the very Best Gifts.
I can celebrate this news because God knows how to give the Best Gifts ever (#Jesus). I can trust His plans for me. I can trust His plans for all four of my children. I can trust His plans for you. I hope you can, too.
Don't worry Friend, trusting doesn't mean you don't have feelings; you are absolutely entitled to have feelings. Here's a hug <SQUEEZE> and permission to eat anything you want to help you get through whatever you're feeling right now (I recommend chocolate chip-coconut-oatmeal cookies). Just don't forget - it's rude not to say thank you when you're given a gift so say THANK YOU and give Him all the glory for the incredible gifts He's given you! (Just so we're clear this advice falls under the Best Gift category. You're welcome.)
James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times and a brother [or sister] is born for a time of adversity.Inspirational Quote:
"God's dream is that you and I and all of us will realize that we are family, that we are made for togetherness, for goodness, and for compassion." ~ Desmond TutuMy Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all four of my children. They are all so different and yet I love them each the same. You knew them before I did and You know exactly what each of them needs. Thank you for making them the way You did and thank you for giving them what they need. Please help me be the very best mother I can be to each of them. Please help me show them love, teach them to give and receive grace, and allow them the freedom to suffer (just a little bit!) in a supportive and loving environment so that they may flourish and grow. Thank you for Your love, thank you for Your everlasting presence and thank you for Your perfect gifts. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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