Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Heaven on Earth

Friends, we are 7 days away from Baby B's cochlear implant surgery!!! Seven. In seven days a surgeon will be boring a hole through my daughter's skull - God willing, of course.  AHHHHHH!!! I'm cautiously optimistic since this will be our third stab at the surgery over the past four months and I've learned not to get my hopes up too high. I've also learned not to FREAK OUT too much. Kinda. Mostly.

Actually, I feel like a Boov ("Home" - watch it, love it).  I'd rather run away than deal with what is going to happen.  Since that won't be happening I just eat cake instead. Soooo much cake. Even cake that I don't like.  Even cake that has been sneezed on.  There is no discrimination when it comes to cake.  Also, no serving size.  I don't even need a plate - just the whole thing.  You're probably reading this and thinking, "Wow, that is really unhealthy and kinda gross." I KNOW!  I probably need an intervention, but I'm holding onto the hope that my sugar addiction will loosen it's grip on me after the surgery.  In the mean time I wanted to take some time to share some thoughts about life...

This happened. More than once. In the same week. Ugh.
When I first learned Baby B was profoundly deaf it hit me like a freaking freight train.  I didn't see that one coming and it knocked me right on my caboose. I had to grieve for her hearing loss because of what I thought her future looked like.  Here I am now, what feels like a million years and only a few moments all at the same time, and I am truly [mostly] content with our circumstances.  I don't know what her future looks like now anymore than I did then, but I'm not afraid for her anymore and that has brought me so much peace.

So what's changed? Everything and nothing. That is usually how it goes when God is at work in your life, or at least when you turn and open your heart to His plan over your own - everything changes and yet nothing changes at all.

Baby B's hearing loss is still just as profound today as it was the day she first failed her hearing test.  But I've had the incredible opportunity to watch her grow and care for her.  When she cries I hear her and I comfort her.  When she's hungry I feed her.  When she's tired I rock her to sleep.  When she's happy I smile back at her.  When she's playful I tickle her and play peek-a-boo.  When she snuggles her cheek against mine I hold her and never ever want to let go.

She has no idea she can't hear, but she can absolutely without a doubt feel loved and cherished.

Friends, this deafness has removed any shadow of a doubt I may have had about this seemingly mythical place known as Heaven.  You may be wondering where I'm going with this, but please stay with me as I try to articulate in words what has only really been a feeling up until this point...

Our little Baby B has no idea she is making sounds, but I do; I can hear them and decipher what she needs and care for her in ways she cannot care for herself.  She has no idea how much joy it brings to my heart to hear her make sounds as she explores the way her tongue and mouth work, but I do.  She has no idea I'm talking to her when my lips move telling her how much I love her, but she feels the warmth of my expression and smiles back at me.  She has no idea that there is so much more waiting for her after this cochlear implant - laughter, music even dogs barking.

What if we are all missing a "sense" that is ever present in all of our lives? What if there is so much more waiting for us, too?

Friends, if I can hear all of these things and provide her with what she needs as her mother here on earth, how much more can our Heavenly Father glean from our lives?  Even though we can't hear Him as we hear our friends and family, isn't He still talking to us? Doesn't He hear our prayers and provide for all of our needs?  Can't we still feel His love when we spend time in His presence? Don't we bring joy to His heart by praying to Him and loving one another? (The correct answers are yes, yes, yes and yes.)

Even if the cochlear implant doesn't work this whole experience has been such a gift, a gift I want to share with you (just don't ask me to share my cake or you will get stabbed with a fork). I hope, if anything, that Baby B's deafness opens your eyes and your ears to the wonders going on around you here on earth and also in Heaven, because Heaven is so real I can almost hear the angels singing - can't you?

1 Corinthians 2:9
But, as it is written, "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"
John 14:6
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me. 

Inspirational Quote:
"God allows us to experience the low points in life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn no other way." ~ C.S. Lewis

My Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,Thank you for the peace You have brought me through this experience.  Thank you also for the very human emotions that allow me to go up and down so that I may fully recognize and appreciate Your perfect gift.  Thank you for this opportunity to be a mother to these four unique children, please open my eyes and theirs to see the goodness You have planted inside of each of them.
Father, please, please, please protect my baby girl during surgery and keep any meningitis or other infections at bay.  I pray that this surgery is not too painful for her and that all of the suffering will be worthwhile in the end when she can hear our voices. 
Father, I also pray for my friends and readers, that you open their eyes and ears to the glories of Your Son in Heaven.  Speak so that they can hear You working in their lives.  In Jesus' name, Amen. 

My Heaven on Earth...