Thy Will Be Done

Friends, it is dark out.  Very, very dark. A friend pointed out to me today that it is always darkest right before dawn but the light is in the smiles and love of those around us.  Her words were like balm on my heart, which is full of tender places right now.

We just received news that our sweet little Baby A, who has overcome so much already, has a steeper hill to climb; we learned that the stroke she survived has left her partially blind in both eyes.  Although her muscles are intact, she is completely missing the left vision fields in both eyes.  It is permanent.  It is irreparable.  It is beautiful.

She is beautiful and she is complete.  I could end there, but there is still so much more to tell.

She is loved by a God who is the dawn to our darkness.  By partially taking away her vision He is preparing our spiritual eyes for a brightness that will cast away all darkness.  A light that is truly permanent across all worlds and all time.  He is coming and therefore I will rejoice in His presence and goodness and light because what He says is righteous and true.

It is always darkest before dawn, but I don't have to be afraid.  I will rejoice in partial vision that Baby A was gifted.  I will rejoice in the bond she shares with her twin and her other siblings.  I will rejoice in the resources that are at our fingertips to help her navigate the world in which we live.  I will rejoice in the light and the love of those around us.  Together we will be the light.  Together we will see clearly in this darkness.

Can I ask you to join me in prayer for her future though? A mother's heart is tethered to her children and I pray that she feels the love I have for her, but more importantly the love our Heavenly Father has wrapped her up in since before she was born.  I pray that she sees in herself the beauty and value and worth that I see in her.  I pray that the she chooses to rejoice in her sufferings and brighten the world around her.  It's dark out there and our world so desperately needs her light.

Luke 22:42

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.

Inspirational Quote:

"Stars cannot shine without the darkness." ~ Unknown

My Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thy will be done.  I will rejoice in Your will and Your magnificent plan for our lives.  Please help us remember that our true home is with you in heaven and what is permanent and irreparable in our world will be lifted from us upon our homecoming.  Please place Your hands on Baby A and open her spiritual eyes so that she may see clearly.  Shine Your love light through all of our brokenness so that we may rejoice in You and glorify You from all places on our journey.  Amen.

99 Bites of Grilled Cheese

Every day in the Sommer house is a parade.  No, really.  When we go for family walks through the neighborhood we take up one full block; my son with his bike is in the lead, my husband pushing a baby in the stroller is next followed by my 3-year old who pushes her baby stroller and stops to pick up every stick, leaf and sweet gum ball on the way, and I usually bring up the rear with one of the twins in their walking devices.

Today though we were in a REAL parade. With flags and candy and confetti.  The real deal.

It was so much fun, but also a 2 hour walk round trip.  That's a long journey for little 6-year old Tiger Cub legs.  When we got home he was ravenous and requested a grilled cheese with aged white cheddar and green apple slivers but no chives (he's kind of a foodie).  He was tired but waited.  Then when the food came out it was declared awful and disgusting and the wrong color of cheese and the cheese was too melty and the chives were missing and the apple slivers in the sandwich were too floppy and the bread too crunchy and it was horrible and no good.  Whining turned into yelling and yelling into screaming and screaming into sobbing and sobbing into wallowing on the floor.

He spent the afternoon in his room.

At snack time his lunch was brought back out and chives were available. Now it was cold and equally inedible.

At dinner time his lunch was warmed up and brought back out.  Now it was too hot and equally inedible.

He sat there at the table while everyone else ate their dinner and sulked.  He sat there after the plates were cleared and the dishes were done.  He sat there and cried and cried.

Seven hours after the sandwich was originally served he sat there staring at his plate.  He was going to starve to death, he just knew it.  When it was time for the twins to go to bed he asked if he could say goodbye, you know, since he probably would have faded away before breakfast the next morning.  His bright future was over all because the cheese was too white and melty and the apples too floppy and the bread too crunchy.

He looked so...crushed and defeated over something he selected himself.  Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever chosen something you had to have only to find yourself crushed and defeated when circumstances didn't turn out the way you had hoped? I have.

I recognized the deep sadness in my son and I had to make it stop.  I muttered a little prayer to Jesus under my breath asking what now? I couldn't let him off the hook...but I could help him.  I picked up a tiny little apple sliver from his sandwich and folded it in half making it barely a bite and out of nowhere I started singing "99 bites of grilled cheese to eat, 99 bites of grilled cheese, take a bite now, swallow it down, 98 bites of grilled cheese..."  I hadn't planned to sing, it just happened, and looking back I'm not entirely sure it was even my own idea (#answeredprayers).  Slowly, so slowly he nibbled through the sandwich layer by layer keeping rhythm to the song.  The tears dried up and he laughed saying, "I guess I'm not going to die after all." I just gave him a look like "did you really think I was going to let you starve?"

How many times in our own lives do we come up with absolutely ridiculous ideas about what is around the corner? Quite a bit I'd wager.  We have no idea what our future holds, but our Heavenly Father does.  He knows.  And when our choices leave us with cheese that is too melty and apples that are too floppy and bread that is too crunchy He is always there singing over us, ready to uplift us at His pace...which frequently is one layer at a time.