Celebrating Rainbows

Our little Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) survivors are one month old today! Can they get a hip, hip hooray?!?

This past month has been incredibly hard but also amazingly wonderful.  Since they were born at 25 weeks 6 days gestation, life for them is really as if they were still in the womb with lots of sleeping. Except they have to breath. All day, every day.  We're really trying to get the message across to both of them that this is not a breathing optional world...and they are starting to get the message.

We truly have a lot to be thankful for and celebrate; in the past thirty days both have graduated off the nitric oxcide (yay!), both have graduated off of the ventilators (double yay!), and both are gaining weight steadily weighing in at 2 lbs 10 oz (birthweight 1 lb 12 oz) and 3 lbs 4 oz (birthweight 2 lbs 3 oz).  Both were stable enough to get PICC lines (essentially really super long IVs) to help them get extra nourishment...and, as of today, both get to say "goodbye" to their PICC lines and "hello" to fortified breast milk! Go twins! So, yes, we have a LOT to celebrate!

Being a mother of twins is such an incredible experience and I have simply fallen madly in love with both of them.  I love snuggling them.  I love changing their itty bitty little diapers.  I even love smelling them (the babies, not the diapers).   Having two at the same time I can say without a doubt that they are two VERY different people with two VERY different personalities and I will even go so far as to say that despite being identical I can easily tell them apart just by looking at them.  Baby A, our TTTS donor, is just like her daddy and can't hold still.  She is a tiny little busy body and wiggles all over the place, even in her sleep.  Baby B, our TTTS recipient, is just the opposite.  She is perfectly content laying still all day long (just like me).

Baby A with her hand wrapped around my thumb!

Snuggle time with Baby B!

Motherhood in the NICU is very different from my past experiences.  Yes, I get to kiss them, snuggle them (kangaroo-style), change their diapers and sing songs to them, but someone else gets to feed them - granted its through a tube.  If they get into a tough spot and struggle someone else gets to make it all better and someone else gets to watch over them and tuck them in at night. I have accepted that this is just the way it is right now and I know they are in good hands; I certainly couldn't do what they do for my girls...I've tried and I've just been in the way, which is hard because I'm mom and moms fix things and make them all better.

Maybe my other two kiddos have sensed this need I have to fix things and make them all better because in the past 30 days they/we have had the stomach flu, colds, conjunctivitis and broken bones. Well, one broken bone.  A toddler fracture, really.  Apparently going down a slide (even a toddler slide) on a parent's lap = Emergency Room visit.  Write that on your forehead if you have small children.  You're welcome.

Yeah, this happened.

Every time a new disaster popped up, especially the ones that kept us from seeing the girls, it was incredibly frustrating.  I just wanted an "easy button", just a pause until we could regroup and get back on our feet.  There wasn't an easy button, but I will say that through prayer I was able to accept things and choose love over anger (most of the time).

Actually the only reason I'm even sharing this is so that hopefully whomever is reading this will turn to prayer when they are looking for an easy button.  Sometimes, when it rains it pours, but that is when you need to look for a rainbow (aka God's presence and promise to us).  Looking back there was a rainbow after each one of these storms; each time we got sick our immune systems got a little stronger, and hopefully, by the time the twins come home we will be immune to everything.  Plus, the immunities pass to the babies through my milk.  Now that my daughter is home full-time with me having her in a cast has actually been a blessing; she broke her leg just a few days after I got home from the hospital and I would not have been able to keep up with her otherwise. Plus, she was never in any pain and never cried. (I can't say that I didn't.) So yes, we have a lot to celebrate!

Genesis 9:16
When I see the rainbow in the clouds I will remember the eternal covenant between God and every living creature on earth. 

Philippins 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Inspirational Quote:
"If you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain." ~ Dolly Parton

My Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for all of the blessings You have given us, most importantly being the protection of our precious little babies.  Thank you for strengthening them and for giving our family the strength we need to get through this rainy season of our lives. 

Please place Your hand on their tiny little hearts and their tiny little brains and heal them in the places they need to be healed. Strengthen them in the places they need to be strengthened.  You know what they need and we trust You to give them what they need in Your perfect way and in Your perfect timing. Please show Your great love to all four of my children, comfort them, and protect them. We love You and we trust You. Amen.